Tuesday, 17 December 2013

How to not get fat this silly season

Do you drink? Oh my god, you do? Why are you reading this blog then. You clearly don't care about your health! Kidding. I'm kidding. Keep your panties on! 

I'm not here to tell you not to drink, that would be incredibly hypocritical and grinch-like of me. However, with just one week until Santa comes, we are well and truly into the silly season. And unless you want a load of stored joy (aka fat) to deal with in the new year, it might be worth considering what you are putting down your grain-free, gluten-free, dairy-free pie-hole. What?! I'm sure such a thing would exist somewhere!

Now I am fully aware that you are probably not going to be squeaky-clean on the diet front until detox time comes around, and I am not one to say you shouldn't indulge in a little Christmas cheer. But at the same time, you don't want to treat your body like a rubbish bin. I know what you're thinking - whatever, I'll deal with it in the new year. You could, or you could just manage it a little better now and spend more time in January flaunting your hot ass on the beach (sorry northern hemisphere folks) rather than hiding it under your moo moo while you struggle through yet another juice cleanse. The choice is yours.

So, let's talk alcohol. I'm not going to lie - it's not exactly a "superfood". Yes, there are some antioxidants in red wine, but for the most part, alcohol kind of kicks your liver in the guts. Given that the liver is the body's detoxification hub, if you give it too much to do, and too many toxins to get rid of, it is eventually going to go on strike, resulting in a build up of toxins in your body. Not only will you look and feel like crap, but your whole hormonal system will be thrown out of whack (as it is the liver's job to metabolise hormones), which could take quite a while to fix. 

Alright, now that I have given my responsible service if alcohol spiel, let's be realistic. You know it's not a health food. And you're probably going to have a few drinks anyway. So....what are the best choices if you are going to partake in such festivities?

1. The Jesus Drink

The what now? This is basically vodka with water and a squeeze of fresh lime or lemon. Not exactly sure why, but my friend coined it "the Jesus drink" - I have to admit though, it is pretty good for minimising a hangover. Possibly because you are upping your water intake and avoiding all of the added nasties and extra sugar that usually come with mixers. Be even better behaved by having a plain water in between - just be wary though....too many of these and you will forget which is vodka and which is water….or so I have heard…

Vodka with soda water and lime is also good, especially if the bubbles make you feel a little bit fancy. What?! Don't pretend they don't! 

2. The Vod-Bucha

I just made that name up then. Pretty clever eh? This one is a new favourite - vodka mixed with kombucha, a fantastic probiotic-rich drink. The good bacteria in the kombucha work to negate the bacteria-killing effects of the alcohol. Note: this may or may not be true. It's quite possible I made it up to justify my behaviours. Either way, it's better than other mixers

3. Paleo vodka
Are you seeing a trend yet? That maybe vodka is your safest bet?!

So what is Paleo vodka? Well, to be honest, I don't think Paleo man made vodka. I could be wrong, but that's my guess. Paleo vodka, unofficially, is Ciroc vodka, which is made from grapes, rather than grains. So, if you are following a Paleo diet, and you want to avoid grains on principal (as most of the negative effects of grains are pretty much non-existent in alcohol), Ciroc might be the way to go. In my experience, I get less adverse side effects from Ciroc. Mix it with some coconut water to up the au-natural ante! Or maybe you could take a leaf out of P.Diddy's books and enjoy a few bottles while having a bubble bath. Cos that's completely normal….

Image via thehiphopupdate.com 
4. NorCal margarita

Wok hoo! Now we have a non-vodka drink. Check out the recipe (and info on why this drink is superior) HERE

5. Wine

Red is probably best, due to the small amounts of resveratrol. If possible, drink organic in order to dodge the nasty preservatives. Motto to minimise damage: waters between wines

What to avoid as much as possible:

1. Pre-mixed drinks

Full of crap, especially sugar. End of story. 

2. Cocktails

The occasional cocktail isn't going to  kill you, but if it is your drink of choice, and you're somewhat of a social butterfly, you're probably going to put on a bit of Christmas cheer. These are often loaded with extra sugar syrup, juices and liqueurs. I should know - I used to work in a bar! Sorry.

3. Beer

Mainly because it contains gluten. Yes, I am one of those "nut-jobs" who thinks most people do better without gluten. In my experience (personal and with clients), people DO notice a real difference when they give gluten the boot. Beer is also quite calorically dense - expect a Santa-belly come January.

What about food???

Do the best you can and prepare well. This means:

1. If you can pack your own lunch, do it.
2. If you can have breakfast and or dinner at home, do it. Maybe this also means inviting friends over to your place for a dinner party. That way you will know EXACTLY what you are eating and you can dazzle your guests with your healthy culinary skills - they won't even know that the usual suspects are missing. Tip: slow-cook your meats (oven or slow cooker) - you can't go wrong. Tip 2: make a "raw vegan" dessert. I'm far from pro-vegan or even pro-raw, but when it comes to desserts, these folk have got it sorted! Check out my "Paleo-ish Cheesecake" - raw AND vegan! 
3. If you are going out for dinner, eat a regular-sized meal. This probably won't be your final feast ever, so no need to behave like it will be. If you feel like you want to eat loads, get an extra side of veggies. And don't eat pasta. Aside from being against grain consumption, I feel that pasta is such as waste of going out for dinner. Instead of dessert, opt for a cheese platter to avoid a big sugar hit. 
4. If you have a Christmas party, eat before you go. Chances are the canapés are going to be party pies and sausage rolls. No bueno. 
5. Start your day off with a big, protein-filled breakfast, such as eggs and greens (see recipe below), to help keep your blood sugar levels stable, minimise cravings, and lessen the chance of binging on a box of Ferrero Rochers come 3pm. 

Eggs & Greens (serves 1 hungry hippo)

1. Chop about 1 cup of veggies (zucchini, capsicum, silver beet, spring onion - whatever you have, but the spring onion is a must) 
2. Sauté in 1 tbspn of coconut oil and a splash of apple cider vinegar
3. Stir in 2-3 eggs until just cooked (low heat)
4. Sprinkle with sea salt

Add a nutritional boost: 
Add in 1 tsp of savoury (nutritional) yeast flakes, rich in B vitamins to give you an energy boost, while adding a delicious cheesy flavour to the eggs, completely dairy free!

Serving options:
1. 1/2 an avocado OR
2. A little smoothie OR
3. A mug of bone broth OR
4. A slice of sprouted, gluten-free bread. Try THIS ONE

Eat slowly, savour the flavour and enjoy your day! 

That's it for now, friends! Next you hear from me, I'll be in New Zealand! Yes, I will still be continuing my inconsistent (I'm working on it) blog posts with my usual rant. Have a very merry Christmas! Stay safe and be sure to spend lots of quality time with loved ones! x

Oh, and just one more thing….
Image by Andrew Mitchell via pinterest
How's that for awkward!! 

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Eating out in Sydney - a Paleo guide

Exciting news! We are heading back to the land of the long white cloud (AKA New Zealand) at the end of the year! Very last minute (we only booked our tix on Sunday) and VERY unorganised (we don’t even know what we will be doing over there) but we are excited for the adventures that await us. So, as a bit of a “goodbye Sydney, it’s been fun” sort of jig, I thought I would share with you my favourite spots to eat. Now I apologise, most of these are in the Eastern suburbs of Sydney, so it goes against all of the blogging rules of “make your posts applicable to as many people as possible”. Actually, I’m not sure if that is a rule, but it sounds like it should be, right? Anyway, surely many people are going to visit Bondi Beach at some point in their lives. Why? Because it looks like this:

One of my favourite Aquabumps photos.
Go check them out. Amazing snaps of Bondi. 

I don’t eat out a whole lot. Why? Because I really like home cooked meals – they taste really good and they are much more affordable. And because I can’t eat gluten. And because I like to stick to a paleo-ish style of eating most of the time. Because it makes me feel good. And because I enjoy cooking.

Wow. How was the grammar in that last paragraph. Sorry ‘bout that. I just had a little verbal diarrhea.

Soooo, when I do eat out, it has to be REALLY good, and by good I mean tasty, healthy (mostly), have a nice atmosphere and use local/seasonal/sustainable produce. I’m not asking much, am I?

Lucky for me, Sydney has some pretty good eats. Here are my top picks (in no particular order of favourites):

See what they have done there with the name. Witty, eh? (I’m saying ‘eh instead of hey, ‘cos that’s what the kiwi’s do – trying to get a head-start on the language!) Sean’s have their own farm  in Bilpin from which they source their produce for the menus. Said produce ticks all the boxes – seasonal, sustainable, fresh, grass-fed meat, free-range chooks, wild-caught seafood (obviously not from their farm, silly!). My favourite dish here is the pate as an entrée (which I have with crudités instead of bread), followed by lamb shanks. The location (across from Bondi Beach) is not too shabby, either.

…..which means “beautiful friends”. I only just googled that now, and it makes me love the place even more! Bei Amici, like Sean’s is very focused on seasonal, organic, biodynamic produce, with their menu changing on a regular basis. All produce is from legit sources and the food tastes AMAZING!
Here’s what they say:

We use organic & bio dynamic products, because it tastes so much better

Touché, Bei Amici, touché. My favourite here has been the pate for entrée (I like pate, OK!) and the duck for main.

Image from beiamici.com.au

 3. Paleo Café, Bondi Junction

This one has only just opened in Sydney and was always going to be a winner in my books. It’s all paleo. It’s all delicious. ‘Nuff said.  A rather salient quote from the folks at Paleo Cafe:


Side note: Paleo Café are also in Cairns, Brisbane, Mornington Peninsula and, word on the street is, they’ll soon be opening in Albury.

For all of you pasta fiends, check out this recipe for Paleo Carbonara with Bacon and Mushrooms. Nom nom nom.

4. Henley’s Wholefoods, Bondi Junction

I tried this place for the first time this morning on a brekkie date with my husband. Yeah, we went on a date.

They are all paleo-friendly meals and use organic, seasonal and local produce. Very tasty and creative. Aaron had “Field mushrooms, Sicilian herb, chilli ‘n thyme pesto, black ox heart tomatoes and poached eggs”. I had “Maca protein-charge me up’ pancakes, banana, nutty crumble, coconut yoghurt and maple syrup”. I also had food envy. The pancakes were awesome, but the eggs were better. Learn from my mistakes – go for the eggs.

Henley's eggs. They look good, don't they?
We met the owner, Sophie, this morning. Very nice chick. Let’s help her out and spread the word about this one, tucked down behind and under Paleo Café in Bondi Junction.

Hurrah! Not a place in the East! I would tell you about this place, but they say it pretty well themselves. Check out their menu HERE.

They also provide FREE filtered water with chlorophyll, which is not only good for you (helps with detoxification), but it makes me chuckle every time because of this:

Image source

I know, I am miss maturity. Aah Adam Sandler, you were really funny once.

AKA "Heaven". Definitely not paleo. Not even close to being healthy. But it makes me happy. It’s a once every now and then kind of treat. And you can walk around the street singing and dancing like this:

If the video doesn't show up, go HERE. Trust me, it's worth it. But be warned - load of swearing. Much more than I usually swear!

So there you go! If you’re ever in my neck of the woods, and you have some extra cash to spend on meals (especially with the top 2 – a little exxie, but definitely worth it every now and then), check out these places. If you have some suggestions in other areas of Sydney, please let me know. Or, if you want more in-depth reviews of “paleo-kosher” (can I say that?) places to eat, check out my friend Soulla’s blog.

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Period Party!

Image by Laura C George via pinterest

A few months ago, it was suggested that I undergo a procedure known as a “HyCoSy” to check for any structural problems with my lady garden, given I had not had a period in two years (which you can read more about HERE and HERE). They say that you may experience “mild discomfort” during the procedure and that you should consider taking pain-killers prior. Having had this done, sans pain-killers, all I can say is, don’t be a hero – take the drugs – the “discomfort” is more than “mild”. I’m not going to go into the gory details, but you can read more about HERE if you want. It was traumatic, to say the least. 

So anyway, post-procedure, I was lying on the bed/chair thingy, half-naked and wanting to throw up and/or pass out, and the doctor informed me that:

“You have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). You aren’t going to get your period back and you probably won’t conceive naturally, so we’ll start you on injections and then you’ll probably need IVF”.

Here's a picture taken from that moment: 

Image via http://blogs.voanews.com
 Talk about bedside manner. What a douche!

As you can imagine, this wasn’t the easiest thing to hear. I got home and I lost my shit. Big time.

After a few days of feeling sorry for myself I thought I should take a look at the images of my baby-maker. What I discovered was that I did not have PCOS, but normal, healthy ovaries in the follicular phase, which was confirmed by my GP and naturopath. Woo hoo!

In other news, while I was in Broome, I got my period back! So it turns out that this trusted gynaecologist, in one of Sydney’s best ultrasound clinics, was wrong. And did I mention he was a douche?

It just goes to show that, when it comes to your body and your health, QUESTION EVERYTHING and don’t accept anything as gospel.

OK let’s back up – I got my period back – in outback Western Australia! I’m pretty sure my dietetics supervisor thought I was crazy when I exclaimed 

“You don’t understand how EXCITING this is!!!” 

And it was! I can’t explain the feeling, but it was like I felt like a woman again. I know all of you ladies out there with a regular period are scoffing at me right now, and all of you guys have either stopped reading or are thinking I’m a weirdo. By the way, kudos to you, boys, if you are still here!

It all suddenly made sense why I had completely devoured a whole block of Green & Black’s chocolate the night before. And why my skin was breaking out. And why I cried watching “How I met your mother”. Seriously?!

So what triggered the return of my lady-time that had been MIA for so long? Well, I think it was probably a combination of things, but I don’t think it was any coincidence that it came back while I was in Broome AKA “most relaxing, laid-back, picturesque getaway spot in Australia” (you can check out my pics from Broome, and a yummy recipe HERE). I embraced “Broome-time”, which involved……not much. Not much at all. And that’s the point. I said enough is enough, stopped trying to do everything all at once and calmed the f#@k down.

A typical day looked like this:

6am: Rise with the sun. Walk to Cable Beach. Do 15 minutes of yoga or a quick Tabata workout. Go for a swim in the ocean (this became a little less relaxing after a 4m salt-water croc was sighted on the beach). Meditate. Walk home
7:15am: Eat breakfast. Slowly.
8:10am: Go to work
4:30pm: Come home. Walk to beach. Swim. Watch sunset. Walk home.
6:30pm: Dinner.
7:30pm:Maybe a little work for Sarah Wilson’s I Quit Sugar. Maybe nothing.
8:30pm: Bed
9pm: Sleep

I spent lots of time by myself. And I spent plenty of time with some of the most beautiful, generous people I have ever met.

I’m sure to some, this looks pretty boring, but it was clearly what I needed.

Now I’m under no disillusion that this is achievable for everyone. I’m back in Sydney now and it all seems like a distant memory and, unfortunately, so is my period – MIA again, but I’m confident it will return when the time is right.

So if, like me, you don’t live in Broome and are having some lady-problems, here are a few things I would suggest:
  1. Eat. And eat regularly. Every 3-4 hours have something small to eat.  And don’t cut out carbs. Why? If we leave it for too long, our blood sugar will drop. When this happens, cortisol, our stress hormone is released to bring blood sugar back up. This happens at the expense of our sex hormones (oestrogen, progesterone and testosterone). Eat!!
  2. Practice yoga. I highly recommend the “YogaStudio” app for iphone or ipad. Not only do I feel this has helped my body, but it has worked wonders for my head. As I have mentioned, I have put on ~7kg this year, all in the pursuit of fertility. I have struggled with this, having previously been quite athletic-looking. Yoga has helped me focus more on my body’s ability rather than its aesthetics. I know how this sounds – like I am one of those crazy yoga hippies. Maybe I am. Whatever.
  3. Walk around bare foot. Speaking of crazy hippies. It’s called “earthing”. It feels amazing. On that note – just get out and into nature more. Climb some trees, swim in the ocean, make sand angels, whatever floats your boat. Just don’t spend all of your time inside. It’s stifling, in more ways than one.
  4. Go to bed early. Stop playing with your phone/computer/ipad at least an hour before you go to bed to help your body wind down.
  5. Sleep in a pitch black room to allow adequate production of melatonin, our sleep hormone
  6. Enjoy social time. Drink a little red wine. Play – lots!
  7. Have sex. Often, if you can. Not only does this promote blood flow to our lady-bits, but also helps reduce stress. Winning!
  8. Exercise, but not too much.
  9. Cut out caffeine. Sorry, but this can really mess with your hormone regulation.
  10. Speak to yourself as if you were speaking to your best friend. Would you tell your best friend “you’re fat”, “you’re ugly”, “you’re not worthy”? No? Then why tell yourself that? Your body has done more for you than ANYONE else will ever do.
  11. Get help. I can’t thank the gorgeous naturopath Kate from Kore Wellbeing enough for all of her support.

My final word of advice would be this: don’t wait. Don’t wait until you decide you want to have babies to fix your period problems. If you do, it becomes all-consuming. And as much as you try to not let it, it can start to take over your life. It saddens me that so many girls accept menstrual irregularities as normal. It’s not! The time is right NOW to fix it. Not tomorrow. Not next year. NOW!

Oh, and just a little gratuitous shot to show that an extra 7kg isn't so scary:

Weird angle - my head looks very disproportionate, but you get the picture. 

Wednesday, 30 October 2013

Dairy do's and don'ts

So apparently my last blog was s*#t-house. I know this because I had a conversation wih my best friend that went like this:

Her: You haven’t done a blog in a while
Me: I did one last week!
Her: On coconut? That wasn’t a blog.
Me: So it wasn’t good?
Her: How many comments did you get?
Me: (staring squinty-eyed seeing where she is heading with this one. Less than usual, for the record)
Her: I’m just saying it wasn’t your best

Harsh but fair. You see when you have been friends for 17 years, there is no bulls#*tting or beating around the bush.

Wow! I have already sworn twice. And it’s only the beginning! Hold onto your seats friends – this one is going to be a doozy! Just kidding, I promise* not to swear any more.


So I proceeded to ask what I should write about.

“Are solariums beneficial?”

She has been asking me to write about this for a while now. She wants me to say yes. I’m still a little wary.

“Dairy! Talk about dairy!”

Then we had a conversation about how dairy can cause skin problems for us both. Next, we proceeded to devour a square of dark chocolate covered with a thick dollop of raw cream….And so the story begins….


Image via Pixie Market, pinterest

 Well, in a nut-shell. It depends. It depends on the product, and it depends on YOU. Everyone is different. What is right for your friend, might not be right for you. What works for you now, might not work for you next year. Let’s take a few steps back.

Is dairy “paleo”?

Well, no according to most. HOWEVER some traditional tribes do rely on dairy for a large proportion of their diet, such as the Maasai from Africa. And they are some pretty healthy people. Trust me – I’ve met them. I’ve seen them jump. And man – can they jump! Check it out:

Check out that jump! Image link HERE

Is dairy healthy? 

It depends. Are you getting frustrated yet with all this indecisiveness? Keep your panties on. I’ll explain myself.

The dairy that most of us consume is pasteurized, homogenized cow’s milk from animals that may have been fed on grain (rather than grass) and kept in less than optimal cow-friendly conditions (i.e. not grazing peacefully on roaming pastures). Herein lies the basis of the vegan argument against grain. But as you know, I’m no vegan. 

Nutritionally, here are the problems with the milk we consume:

1. Homogenisation – squeezes all of the fat globules through tiny little holes to make them smaller and evenly dispersed throughout the liquid. They say this makes the milk “creamier”. I say this damages the fat molecules in the milk and makes it harder for our bodies to digest.

2. Pasteurisation – heats the milk at high temperature in order to kill off all of the bacteria. They say this makes the milk “safer to drink”. I say “you morons – you’re killing the good with the bad!”. You see, real, unprocessed milk is loaded with beneficial bacteria that can aid digestion, immune function and overall health. Pasteurisation also destroys the enzymes naturally present in the milk that help us to digest the sugars, namely lactase, which helps us digest lactose. Interestingly, many people who are “lactose intolerant” report being able to tolerate raw dairy products.

If you want to learn more about the processing of milk, you can watch this incredibly boring video, which has some awesome 80's music at the end. 

3. Grain-feeding – cows eat grass. They say “it is cheaper and provides more energy-dense calories”. I say “f#*k you”. Sorry. But this really bothers me, for a few reasons:

1.    A) Cows eat grass! They have 4 stomachs, designed specifically to digest grass. Not soy. Not corn. Grass! When fed grain, they get fatter faster. This disrupts the fatty acid profile, leading to a high proportion of inflammatory omega-6 fatty acids and a lower proportion of anti-inflammatory omega-3 fatty acids. Did you know that grass-fed beef is an excellent source of omega-3, second to wild salmon? No? Well there you go. OK back on track – feeding grains to cows can lead to a disruption in their gut bacteria, promoting bad bacteria, rather than good. If your cow eats grain, you probably want to pasteurise its milk.
2.    B) Feeding cows grains requires large amounts of land to grow grains. Hello vegan argument slipping back in. Rolling pastures and forests are being cleared to make way for the growing of these grains. This means less space for grass and trees and rivers and a multitude of creatures that make up an ecosystem. One big argument against milk/meat production from cows is that they contribute to global warming by producing methane gas. What do you think trees and grass do? They sequester carbon and improve global warming! Do you see how this could all work if we just let nature do its thing?
3.    C) As these cows are not eating their normal diet, they are more likely to get sick. Sick cows often need treatment – with antibiotics, and just like in humans, antibiotics really mess with your gut health. Moral – you can’t get health from a sick animal!

I strongly encourage you to watch this short TED talk by Allan Savory, explaining how we can help heal the planet with hooved animals (e.g. cows). If the video doesn't show up below, go HERE

Alrighty then, now that we have established most of the down-sides (there are more) of your run-of-the-mill store-bought milk, let’s talk about when dairy can be healthy. This is why I don’t write blog posts very often – they just get too long!

Raw milk. Are you scared? First off, if you’re concerned about the health risks associated with raw milk, I suggest you check out Chris Kresser’s blog series HERE. Second, I am not telling you to drink raw cows milk, as that would be illegal. Note you should NOT drink raw cows milk.**

This is me winking at you, via this awkward shot of Robert Pattinson.
Image by Nona Adams via pinterest

Raw dairy, from well-raised, well-fed and well-treated cows can be an incredibly nutrient-dense food. That’s why the Masaai can jump so high (this may or may not be true). Here’s just a few reasons why raw milk trumps crappy-processed milk every time:

11. It is rich in beneficial bacteria, which promote healthy digestion, strong immune function and happy hormones. Health (and disease) begins in the gut. Pretty sure some dude named Hippocrates said that a few years back.
22. It contains enzymes intact. As I mentioned above – raw milk has lactase, which helps digest lactose, the predominant sugar in milk
33. It is a great source of vitamins A, D and K2, all important for bone health. I know what you’re thinking – “what about calcium?” Yes, raw dairy is a great source of calcium and is more bioavailable (easier for us to “use”) than the calcium in processed dairy
44. It is loaded with conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), which studies are showing may potentially play a beneficial role in many chronic diseases, as well as improving body composition. Side note: it’s more abundant in the meat than the milk
55. Colostrum. Sometimes referred to as the “magic milk”, this is also produced by humans  and is full of immunoglobulins, antibodies, prebiotics, probiotics, growth factors and sugars that help with immunity.
66. It is a great source of bioavailable protein and is loaded with healthy fats

On the subject of calcium, if you’re having your milk (raw or processed) with cereal or coffee, you probably aren’t going to absorb much of this vital mineral, as there are components in these foods (tannins, phytates, lectins etc) that inhibit absorption. Your best bet is to throw it into a smoothie, drink it straight, or make yoghurt/kefir with it.

Right, so we have covered a lot (but not as much as I would have liked to). Moral to the story – dairy can be good and bad. If you can tolerate cows milk and want to try raw milk, I strongly encourage you to know where it is coming from. Ideally, you want it straight from the source, so try and hunt down a local farmer who will let you milk his cow in the wee hours of the morning. If you don’t tolerate cows milk, try goat/sheep. I’m no good with cows milk, so I stick with raw goat milk, which is easier to obtain too. If you’re allergic to milk, perhaps stay clear, but you probably already knew that. But remember, I'm not telling you that you should drink raw milk anyway, as it is illegal.**

Oh, one last thing – full fat all the way! The fat is important to absorb the vitamins, minerals and protein. It also slows down absorption and helps improve satiety, which may aid in weight management. 

Phew. Any questions feel free to comment below! And apologies again for the persistent swearing. I’m working on it. Much love to all! x

**UPDATE: When I say raw milk is "illegal", I mean it is illegal to sell (at least in Australia, but I believe the situation is similar in the US and other countries). It is not illegal for you to drink it (i.e. it is not quite in the same department as cocaine....yet). 

Links to where I pulled some of this mumbo-jumbo from (the rest is from my own noggin):